There are those moments
when I have no defenses
I just let them take me fully
and accept the inevitable,
a whirlwind of emotions
and might have beens
crying softly into the night
and mourning for the light
All the "what ifs,"
the "should have beens,"
and the "shouldn't have beens"
torment and taunt me
with piercing recriminations
For there are questions
which have no answers
and perplexing answers
which make no sense
How could it have happened,
and moreover why, oh why
did that which was planted
with such hope and beauty
wither into stalks of ice
that penetrate like fire
I've walked endless miles along the shore
while reaching out for solace and peace,
but I've found only haunting emptiness
which echoed with such profound despair
And sleep tonight will be elusive
for the tides are beckoning,
towing my heart and soul
out to uncharted waters
And the seas are cold and gray
with angry and unfriendly swells
that drench any promise of
hidden or sheltered warmth,
as the glacial winds cut deep
within all that I ever wanted
There's no mercy here,
nor any forgiveness
No shore even in sight now
No lighthouse beckoning me
The relentless waves are lulling me
and numbing my spirit to live
The bottom invites me
to join it forevermore
It's quiet there,
so gently quiet,
and the darkness
will be a cradle
soothing and safe
and free at last from pain
Yet from somewhere
beyond the darkness
comes another sort
of quiet certainty,
that there're oceans of stars
drifting across the heavens
The birth and death of galaxies
are happening right now,
yet I'm still caught
in the gravity well of earth
So if I drink from this well,
will I dream again of hope,
and would I see that my soul
is still too heavy to float freely
Then how do I cast out these
demons of doubt and regret
when I am their fountainhead
and I nurture them so possessively
Yet a voice whispers
"Just let it go, child,
for you don't need an anchor
with chains
to sail to the stars."
© dennis j hopkins
&
shelley l flynn
11/1999
|
